The Vapid Twitterers

I hate people who love Twitter. There, I said it. I work in social media and I hate people who love Twitter.

Really, do you know anyone who tweets a lot that you don't think is a total self-involved douchebag? I was recently at a networking event (more on those awful things at another time) and this girl was tweeting "to my peeps!" the entire time. Uh, sweetie, the whole point of being at this event is to meet new fucking peeps, so get your thumbs off your iPhone and your mind off your tweeple.

Most of those same perma-Tweeters are the most vapid people I know, or at least appear that way on Twitter. Probably because no one is clever and interesting every three minutes, so when you tweet that often you sound like you have nothing to say. Ironic, but true.

Most of these types of people I follow for work purposes, so I don't un-follow them, just in case they say something interesting. I'm still waiting. But when I come to those 5 tweets in a row from this person, I just skip right over them. I wish there was a hide function on Twitter so that they can think I'm still following them but I don't have to be subjected to their nonsense.

Because I work in social media, and therefore have to watch what I say on my real Twitter account, I've taken to creating fake ones so I can say what's really on my mind. I live in fear of a co-worker doing the same thing, coincidentally following me, and recognizing him/herself in my cruel, derogatory tweets.

Now that I've said this, you're thinking about everyone you know who tweets all the time. Am I right or what? You secretly believe that he/she is the most self involved, vapid, trite person on the planet. Let's start a club.